TUESDAY.
I fork over $225.00 a month so I can have six hours each Tuesday and Thursday all to myself.
Usually I tell a fib and phrase it much more appropriately, it sounds something like: James goes to preschool two days a week, all day. It is a great school and I am thankful we can provide him the chance to be with friends, learning about circle time, sharing, taking turns, attending chapel, and of course prepare him for Kindergarten.
But really his mommy just needs some of her own time once in awhile.
I still pay $225.00 tuition, but rarely do I get my 12 hours worth of “me time” each week. Actually I am somewhat ok with that- when I get to control those twelve hours.
It seems that when I lose control of how I want to spend the time that I freak out a little (Hmmm…have I mentioned “control” seems to be an issue that I need to learn to LET GO of? Writing about how in the heck I am ever going to figure that one out is a more serious matter. I am trying to laugh about my last few days so you will have to let me psychoanalyze myself another time.)
On Tuesday Caleb robbed me of my six hours stayed home with me because he had strep throat. I have to admit, if someone is sick he is the easiest to have home. He is nine and responsible enough that I can leave him home alone if I need to.
Which, I decided to do when the clock struck 2:48 and I had to pick up James from that place I send him so I can have some quiet preschool.
Also, I had carpool duty for Caleb’s school. The friend I run afternoon carpool with had surgery on Monday and cannot drive for two weeks. So her “having had surgery card” trumped my “kid is sick at home card.” After grabbing James I did the ritual drive between the two schools and picked up the three other kids in carpool. Typically I pick up the kids, come home just in time to meet Kimmy’s bus at the driveway, get her off the bus, and then proceed to take the other three friends home. (In case you are confused, I have three kids and they each go to different schools. The madness will end next year when James starts Kindergarden at Caleb’s school. Then I will just have two schools to coordinate. Hallelujah!)
Since Caleb was left at home so I could have alone time while driving to James’ school practicing responsibility at home, I asked him to please get Kimmy off the bus and I’d take the carpool friends home first.
I pulled the mini- van (Not my mini-van, a borrowed one. The transmission dropped on my van two weeks ago, on a THURSDAY, and I still don’t have it back yet.) into the drive way and Caleb was on the front porch.
“Mom, I need you to come in the house quick, Kimmy is eating something gross and she won’t listen to me to stop it.”
The thoughts in my head went something like: Oh cut the drama, what could she really be eating that is so gross she can actually eat it? Oh yeah, this is Kimmy, better run quick, this could be serious.
Ever tried gnawing on a turkey neck? Raw? Kimmy typically chooses yogurt or cottage cheese for her afterschool snack. Apparently the white rubbery fowl neck in the Tupperware that I was saving to make broth (on THURSDAY when I would have time, after I cooked the turkey for James preschool feast.) looked more appealing. Really?
So there she was with greasy hands, greasy lips and face trying earnestly to sink her teeth get into some meat. Perhaps she noticed the unusual flavor and thought “Hmm, if I keep trying it will taste better soon?” I could blame it on her ongoing sinus problems. If she were not in the middle of a sinus infection perhaps she could have smelled and tasted it more accurately?
Nonetheless the sight of her and the dangling neck was quite disturbing. (Gave me flash backs from three years ago when I discovered her taste testing “Spray and Wash” bottles a squirt at a time while standing on top of the dryer in the laundry room with her head in the cupboard where I safely keep all my laundry supplies. Oh yes and the time she discovered how to remove the child safety lock on her prescription bottle of Synthroid and proved the side effects of eating ALL of them, or the other time when I phoned Poison Control to tell them about…and the operator recognized my voice before I introduced myself and said “How can I help Kimmy today?”)
To give her the benefit of the doubt, she loves chicken legs and the turkey neck does resemble a cooked chicken leg. A little bit. A smidge like one anyway. I could see how she might have mistaken it for one.
I made her wash her hands and face and swish water in her mouth and spit. I then gave her a lecture calmly told her I needed to be able to trust her to listen to Caleb when he tells her “No” about eating something. I told her there was a chance that she might get sick because what she was eating was yucky. No, she could not choose something else for a snack; she would have to wait until the kitchen opened again at dinner time.
WEDNESDAY
At 3:00am Kimmy came to my room sick. I had mentioned in a past blog post, about her swallowing a quarter, that she has a Nissin and cannot barf. http://kimmyshouse.wordpress.com/2009/01/13/my-twenty-five-cents-worth/
Well, technically it is too control her severe reflux and was surgically created when she was an infant and had to have a temporary feeding tube placed in her tummy. It prevented her from getting too much liquid forced back up her esophagus and flooding her lungs and…
Getting sick in the tummy is very painful for her since she can’t actually vomit. Imagine going through all the commotion that you and I do while yelling car names (“Buick”… “Ford”… Digressing, sorry), into the white porcelain fixture, and then getting no relief, just severe tummy cramps afterwards.
So she flip flopped and groaned slept in bed and thus prevented me from any more shut eye before I had to get up and start the day with the kids with me from 3:00 am until 6:30.
I didn’t make her ride the bus, because I wanted to observe her and see if I would get to go to Bible study or have to stay at home with her. she was going to digest breakfast. She did fine and seemed pleasant so I drove her to school. James and I headed to Bible study.
This was a good thing. Glad I sent Kimmy to school so I could go. One of the ladies in my small group has the sweetest southern accent. She was giving her explanation to one of the questions from John chapter 5. After her answer she elaborated about a point and told us what “wallowing” meant. Now when you pronounce that word, do it with a slight drawl to get the full effect. “Wallowing is what pigs do in the mud and the muck.” She told us. “You can choose to wallow in your problems or get out of the mud and move on.” (I don’t think she had not read my last blog entry so I did not take it as a personal attack-rather a chance to listen up and analize my muck and mud and quit wallowing and move on.)
Oh and hey since I am getting off track a little I need to mention a very important tidbit of information.
On September 24, 2000 at 12:25 the precise moment I gave birth to our firstborn child an odd thing occurred. Unbeknownst to me, because I was looking at my newborn son, somehow a special radar was mysteriously implanted into my husband’s brain. It is the most amazing device. It secretly alerts him, ahead of time, when to plan his business trips. It is remarkable. This coordinator helps him plan his travels around little and big crisis’s in our home. I am not sure the true purpose of the radar, if its design is a way of escape for Todd or if the intent is to put his wife through the can-she-really-do-this test.
But Todd left the house on Tuesday afternoon to return home on Friday night.
Also worth noting is that my in-laws, who are my ever ready backup help when Todd is strategically out of town, are on a two week river cruise in Vienna.
I had a sitter coming to the house at 3:00 to watch James and Kimmy.
The sitter was there because I was picking Caleb up from school and also needed to pick up his friend Champ and take the two of them to be interviewed by a local radio station. Caleb, Champ and three grown -ups were talking on the radio about why they want to spend a night sleeping outside in a box on December 4th.
4:15. Champ told his story on air and we were told Caleb was due to speak after Sam at 5:15.
Meanwhile, back at the ranch; Laura, our sitter called to tell me that Kimmy had come off the bus pretty sick and she wouldn’t eat or drink anything and the bus driver told her she had laid down and moaned all the way home.
Ohh, the mom guilt. Did she get salmonella from the turkey neck? I should have kept her home. Darn, neither Todd nor my in-laws are available to go comfort her.
I called Laura back and told her if Kimmy was crampy to please have her sit on the toilet. Laura, who just so happens to be a nursing student, reported to me that in fact Kimmy had just done that. Laura herself was concerned because “it” was pink, and bloody like.
Ok, so I speed dialed my bff, Angie, who is a nurse practitioner and asked her how concerned she thought I should be. NO, I did not need to leave the radio interview immediately before Caleb had his chance to talk, but I should call my pediatrician and ask her advice. Speed dial number eleven on my cell put me in touch with the fact that I needed to have her looked at (once I got home), by Urgent care or at an ER. Pediatrician office closes at 4:30 on Wednesdays. (But at least they are open late on Tuesdays and Thursdays!)
I called Laura back to make sure she was ok to hang out longer that evening. Told her Caleb was on at 5:15 and I’d take Champ home and then drop off Caleb and picked up Kimmy.
Caleb was super excited and a little nervous as his time slot was approaching. 5:15 got pushed to 5:30 which eventually got pushed to 5:45, and then ultimately got pushed to Thursday. (This was disappointing for Caleb, and stressful for me to have to wait to get to Kimmy but a good thing as the radio was giving www.anightinabox.com an extra day of air time. Shameless advertising spot: You can sponsor Caleb as he sleeps out in a box on December 4th to raise awareness in himself about homelessness. You can sponsor him or sign up to sleep out with him (and me!) on the website, don’t forget to mention his name if you donate/sign up!)
On the way home I coordinated the “if Kimmy has to stay at the hospital plan” with Laura, and my sister in law over the phone.
Get home, pack the “in case” overnight bag for each of us, kiss the boys, thank Laura, Kimmy shouts she has to go poop, I in my mommy wisdom yell at her to wait, grab a plastic cup and pair of latex gloves so I can catch a clean sample and be prepared at the Urgent Care to get it cultured, I wrap the sample in saran wrap and hide it in a brown bag (no pun intended), clean up, kiss the boys again and head out.
A few hours later we return home, pay Laura, put Kimmy down, check e-mail, grab a book and head to bed. Kimmy is clear. Mommy needs a good nights rest.
THURSDAY
Ha, you thought the excitement ended there didn’t you? NO chance. Have you ever had a “Love and Logic teaching moment?” I had one this morning with James. It was beautiful!
James loves sweatpants and t-shirts. If I ask him to dress up he finds his best pair of sweats. Most days that is fine attire for him and I like him to be comfy. Battling over clothes is not something I care to do.
Today however was Family Thanksgiving Feast at preschool and I was bringing the turkey. (Remember I had the raw turkey neck in the fridge. I put the brined bird into the oven at 7:00 am before I made the kids breakfast, should be done in time to take to school at lunch.)He and his friends were giving a little performance before the Feast, so I asked him to dress up just a little and wear jeans and the nice brown and blue shirt. He came down stairs in his striped red sweats and blue T-shirt. He told me;
“These are my legs and they want to wear sweats.”
He wasn’t being snotty or anything; just matter of fact to see if he could get away with it since mom was parenting alone and tired and Kimmy had stole the attention from him last night. I took the clothes off of him leaving him in just his undies.
I practiced my best Love and Logic voice. “Nice try. Here are the clothes you need to wear today. I will set the timer for 5 minutes, go ahead and change when you want too before the timer goes off.”
I was secretly hoping that he would wait too long; I really want this I-will-obey-but-I-will-wait-to-do-it-on-my-time-schedule game to be over with for him. Enough already, it drains my energy!
My big teaching moment arrived. Yes, I was sleep deprived, it is THURSDAY: my day! I had other things to worry about this morning, but I didn’t want to ruin a fun lesson opportunity! After the timer went off I pretended not to notice and while he continued to build a fort out of blankets and couch pillows I packed the clothes into his backpack and called the school to tell the preschool director when I arrived at school I would have an almost naked child and not to be alarmed. She was happy to help me with my plan but suggested I let him put on a T-Shirt because it was only forty degrees. (Boy, she has grace; I was thinking the cold was a bonus!)
So when it was time to go to school I gave James his socks and shoes and he put them on and asked where his clothes went. I told him they would be at school; he needed to get into the car.
“How did they get to school without me?”
Kimmy, who I was letting stay home from school was confused but got in the car too. James became very concerned and told me he wanted to wear clothes to school. I told him,
“Remember mommy gave you plenty of time to get dressed before the timer went off but you chose to disobey. I am sorry, there is no more time to get dressed you will have to go to school in your underpants.”
I had to carry him to the car, as he was not going to do this willingly.
“I don’t want to go to the party or school today; I want to stay home in my underwear.”
In the car I handed him one of Caleb’s T-shirts and told him if he’d like he could put the t-shirt on if he wanted so that the director would like me because I had followed her suggestion rather than make him suffer through the cold he would not be embarrassed walking into school.
Thankfully he knows that mommy doesn’t joke around with stuff like this and he put the shirt on and sat quietly thinking about how to get out of this one. Once at school he apologized to me and asked if I would carry him. I did as the point of this was not to humiliate him, rather teach him to obey promptly and not drain mommy’s energy.
He hid his face in my neck so that no one would recognize him. (Hey who is that new kid James’ mom is carrying? I wonder why she is carrying a new kid and not James.)
The Director was supposed to be in her office and take him from there. The office was locked, no Director so I had to make a plan B. Hello, was my problem not the most important thing for you to help with this morning? I took him to his classroom and put him down in front of the bathroom with his backpack and told him his clothes were inside.
Lesson learned. I hope.
I then took Kimmy to school as she continues to show zero signs of actually being sick and I don’t play games on THURSDAYS and let pretend sick kids stay home. Ok, she was not pretending last night, but sincerely she was chipper all morning and her BM’s were fine thank you.
Come home, started laundry, sat down to enjoy a few minutes of quiet, started typing this entry so I could clear my brain, checked the temperature of the turkey, cleaned up the kitchen, made a second mug of coffee, sat back down to type. Checked the turkey, took it out to cool and slice. Drove to school sat down and started chatting with another mom while waiting on the kids to come in. Cell phone rings.
“This is Shelley at the school clinic, Kimmy is here complaining of a headache.”
Headache? Kimmy if you are going to pull one over on the nice folks at school at least complain about a tummy ache instead so mommy can believe you.
Watch the kids sing their adorable Mr. Turkey songs and give thanks. Eat the good food everyone brought; hurry James along just in case Kimmy isn’t faking it.
Say good bye to friends, leave school, arrive to see Kimmy must have been yucky as she was sleeping on the clinic bed-not socializing with the ladies in the front office. Swallow my mom guilt, load her up, drive home, put both kids down for a nap, and shut my eyes myself.
Then at 4:10 Caleb is supposed to call into the radio for his 4:15 interview. I have him shut himself in the office out of fear that the other two will forget to be quiet and yell in the back ground for privacy. I log onto the website for the station and listen on my computer and pray for him to not be nervous.
He is introduced and I am so proud of him! Kimmy decides she is confused that Caleb’s voice is coming out of the computer and not the radio and starts yelling for Caleb and now I can’t hear the interview who is nowhere to be seen. I lie a little and tell them that he is upstairs on the phone with the man from the radio station.
James takes this literally and goes upstairs. He comes down a few minutes later and tells me he can’t find Caleb or the man from the radio station.
“How is Caleb in the computer mom?” These questions are cute and deserve an explanation but I am trying to listen to Caleb, not worry about how it works can’t you please just be quiet for just long enough for mommy to listen without interruption.
Perhaps after Thanksgiving break I can cash in on some of my Tuesday Thursday time. If not, I will enjoy the laugher that comes with control over my time being taken away the reasons that it will never happen. Todd gets home tomorrow night; maybe he will give me a few hours on Saturday to go for a long run and trip to the spa (right babe?)
Oh, and I am not really on a first name basis with Poison Control, anymore that was an exaggeration!
And Stephanie, thanks for reminding me to stop wallowing.